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Member | Dan Maruschak Eugene, OR posts 30 4:34 pm August 31, 2010
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I'm working on a new draft of Final Hour of a Storied Age. One piece of feedback I've been getting from a number of people is that they weren't getting a sense from the game of what I love about the epic fantasy genre. I'm hoping that a new intro I'm working on will help address that: New Intro.
Thoughts or feedback on either the form or the content?
I know I've got some layout issues (my goal is to make it as nice as my skills and resources will allow so that I can attract interest and playtesters as I try to move closer to a publishable game) such as the second quote splitting the page. I'm trying to keep this as a two-page digest spread (essentially a two-column landscape letter-sized page) but I'm having a hard time making the text I'm trying to use fit inside that constraint, so layout suggestions (I'm using OpenOffice right now, so my capabilities may be limited) or editing advice will be appreciated.
I'm also a little concerned about the tone. I don't want people to feel that the game is stodgy or stuck in the "roleplaying is very serious business" vein — the game is supposed to be a celebration of the genre, and I imagine that a lot of the play time will be spent enjoying high adventure rather than deep soul searching.
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Member | Dan Maruschak Eugene, OR posts 30 8:09 pm August 31, 2010
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I also have a revised Part 1 in my rules (here's a PDF with both the new intro and the revised part 1).
The biggest change in Part 1 is that there's now a running example that follows a set of imaginary players through the procedures as I explain them. Do the examples help? I'm a little concerned about the "running" nature of them may be confusing, so feedback on that point will be helpful for me.
Also, throughout all the examples in the text I'm using the same four imaginary players (Susan, Fred, Peter, and Annie) although the context for the different examples changes, as if they were all excerpted from different sessions of the game. I am trying to establish a sense of familiarity by reusing the same names, and also convey the idea that you could play the game again and again to generate a different story each time, but I worry that not keeping the players and the fictional situations synchronized may cause confusion. Any thoughts on that?
Also, is the diagram on page 5 helpful or confusing?
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Member | Simon C posts 90 9:30 pm August 31, 2010
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Dan,
That introduction is a really clear, engaging, articulate essay on why you love fantasy. It's also (I hope), a perfect introduction to what your game is about. I hope the rest of your game's rules fulfill that promise, because it's a good promise.
What you love about fantasy isn't what I love about fantasy, but it is a coherant visions, well communicated.
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Member | Dan Maruschak Eugene, OR posts 30 12:46 pm September 3, 2010
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Simon,
Thanks.
It's also (I hope), a perfect introduction to what your game is about. I hope the rest of your game's rules fulfill that promise, because it's a good promise.
I hope it delivers, too. I'm not 100% confident that I've got the game I want yet, but I know I'm at least fixing problems in the draft I'm working on, which I'll hopefully be done with soon.
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