(For the record, there’s apocryphal evidence that some of my family is Native American. There is no evidence that my family is Japanese.)

Sautée in a saucepan:
• One shitload of olive oil. Like, maybe 3mm of oil or so.
• Three cloves of garlic. Four is fine. Five might be fine, too, depending on the garlic and how tired of crushing garlic you get.
• Throw in a couple of chopped scalions.
• Deglace with as much wine as you can — don’t get it all liquidy in there; make sure it’s still bubbling hard, above boiling temp.

• When the temperature gets really high again and the wine is going to caramelize, deglace again.
• Throw in three cans of drained cannelini. If you don’t drain it, you get just that superfarty bean juice in there.
• Let it simmer. It’ll take a while for the beans to absorb maximum goodness from the oil and garlic.

• While that’s going on, do what you need to do to get the squid/octopus ready. Octopus should be in smaller pieces because it’s tougher. It also has a stronger flavor so you might want to use less. The amount in the picture above is about the right amount. Like a baseball’s volume.
• When the beans don’t just taste like canned beans anymore, when they’re not crumbly inside and there’s substantial liquid that’s come out of them as they cook (this is maybe 10 minutes), throw in the squid/octopus. It cooks fast, so the next part will have to be fast.
• Throw in a big handful of baby spinach. If you don’t have any, parsley’s good too, but it’s not as fluffy so you don’t have to use quite as much.
• Stir it around until the exact moment that the spinach is cooked. Maybe a moment earlier. You don’t want to overcook the cephalopodia.

I find that the amount of beans often requires salt to bring out the flavor. You’ll need less if you’re using octopus because it’s a little salty already.

Ta daaa! Pussybeans!

Oh, and Ginsu knives… they’re serrated. What do you take me for?

Nice knives, too. You should be a on Ginsu knife commercial.